No Tears
by Setsuna529
Summary: Arashi/Sorata - Sorata death fic, POV of both characters. **Third chapter added!** Might want to bring a box of tissues... Please Review.
1. Oyasumi (Goodnight)

Author's Note: Characters are creations of CLAMP. This is my version of Sorata's death scene, with point of views from both Sorata and Arashi. Please review. 

Oyasumi: Goodnight

I realize now that I made the wrong choice. I never should have fallen in love with you, Arashi. But it's too late to change anything now. Back when I first met you, when I first told you that you were the one I had chosen, I did not fully understand the old stargazer's prophesy. I would die for the woman I love. I underestimated the power of that word, love. I wish I had chosen anyone but you. But you're the only one I love. And that's why I wish it was anyone but you. I'd rather _live_ for you, not _die_ for you. I want to live _with_ you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But the rest of my life is rushing to meet me, the end of my life is all too near, and the prophesy will soon come true. I can feel the pain, but from a distance. My sight is hazy, but I can see you clearly. I see you running to me, and I reach out my hand. Broken bits of the earth are falling down around us. You kneel down besdie me, and I touch your face. A spot of blood on your cheek, but it is my blood, not yours. I smile at you because you're beautiful. You grip my outstretched hand and whisper my name. A pang of remorse courses through me as I see your eyes begin to tear up. No, don't cry, that in itself would be the death of me. I can't stand to see a woman I love cry. I recall a faded memory, the only one of my mother that I can remember. She was crying when I left her. Never again. I promised myself I wouldn't make you cry. 

"Please... Arashi, if you love me... don't cry." 

A desperate plea. At first I think that my voice is too weak for you to hear, but you nod and wipe your eyes with a tattered sleeve. You place a hand on my bloody cheek and whisper my name again. It's heartbreaking the way you look at me. I want you to smile, for once have you smile at me with the warmth and love I know you're capable of. And it's as if you heard my thoughts. You smile, sadly but still a smile, and gently rest your head on my chest. It hurts, but pain is meaningless, nonexistant compared to my love for you. 

"There's something... I've always wanted to tell you..." 

I smile at you, but my eyelids are so heavy. 

"Tell me," I manage to say. I fight to keep my eyes open, to keep looking at you. But I'm slipping, I can feel myself shutting down. 

Tell me, Arashi. 

"Sorata, I..." 

I can no longer force my eyes open. Now all I can feel is the slight pressure of your head on my chest and the warming touch of your hand holding mine. 

"Sorata...?" 

Tell me, Arashi. There will be no other chance. 

"Sorata!" 

I hear you, Arashi. I can't speak, but I can still hear you. Tell me what you have to say. 

"Sorata-kun... I love you more than anything... don't leave me... not yet...!" 

I smile. You've never called me that before. And it feels so good. I don't want to leave yet either, but I'm falling, fading, losing you. 

"A...i...shi...te...ru..." 

I love you Arashi, and I will die for you. 

With my last ounce of strength, I reach out and hug you. I cannot fight the foreordained. Please, do not cry, because it was my fault for loving you. I fade into darkness, and the last thing I hear is you calling my name. 

Sorata!, you call. 

I cannot answer. 

Goodnight, Arashi. 

Goodnight. 


	2. Kaeru (Come Back)

Kaeru: Come Back

I watch you fall. I watch in horror as your body falls to the ground. And I run to you. You, the one who plagues me to no end. You told me that I was the one, the one you would die for. I thought you were brash, irrational, incapable of being serious. I denied you, brushed away all of your comments, ignored your feelings. You had no reason to pick me. Billions of people in the world, millions in Tokyo alone. Why me? All your talk of choosing to die for me seemed childish, surreal. Like it didn't really mean that much, yet it was the world to you, wasn't it? It still is. The prophesy to come true. Couldn't you have chosen not to fall in love? If you had, I wouldn't be kneeling next to this battered body of yours. You touch my face, leaving a damp residue behind. Blood. Your blood. You smile, and I take your hand in mine. It's bigger and stronger, but you're always so gentle, so carefree. 

"Sorata..." 

My voice comes out no louder than a whisper. I look at you as you smile, your body bruised and bleeding, and my eyes begin to tear up. I never wished for this to happen to you. You don't deserve this. A moment passes, and you speak. You ask me not to cry, if I love you. If I love you. Words I've never said, not even once when you've said them to me a hundred times. Have I been so cold? I nod and dry my eyes. Words I've never said. But ones I've always wanted to use. I touch your cheek, the youthful face now smeared with red. 

"Sorata..." 

I look at you sadly, but then it occurs to me that there is something you'd rather have than my saddness. 

My heart. 

I smile at you as much as I can muster because until now I never realized that you always had it. I never could push you away from me completely, and now the only thing I want is to be closer to you. I lay my head down on your chest so I can hear your heartbeat. It's faint, and there are words I still need to say to you. 

"There's something... I've always wanted to tell you..." 

You smile that smile of yours that I've always tried to resist. 

"Tell me." 

Your voice is so weak. Hold on, Sorata. 

"Sorata, I..." 

I don't know how to say it. There's so much I want to say, but your eyes are closing. 

"Sorata?" 

Your heartbeat is faint, so faint. For a moment, I can't hear it and I fear that I've lost my chance. 

"Sorata!" 

I feel your chest rise ragged, and I know what I must say. 

"Sorata-kun," I begin, a name I've longed to call you but never dared. "I love you more than anything," I continue, and squeeze your hand. I don't feel you squeeze back, and I begin to panic. "Don't leave me..." I hope with all my being that you can hear me. "Not yet...!" 

Sorata-kun, please don't leave me now, not now when I realize how much I love you. In a faint, almost inaudible voice you say _ai shiteru_ - I love you. My breath hitches, and suddenly you hug me. I am surprised for a brief moment, and then I hug you back, I hold you to me, I clutch you desperately. I won't cry, because you asked me to, but I call your name. 

"Sorata!" 

No answer. I call again and smooth your blood soaked hair away from your forehead. I kiss you in that spot. And I pray for you to open your eyes. Come back to me, Sorata-kun. 

Please, come back. 


	3. Jiyuu (Freedom)

Author's Note: I wasn't originally intending to add any other chapters to this fic, but an idea for a third chapter entered my head and I was compelled to write. I thought it might be nice to add a happy ending to such a sad fic, so hopefully some people will appreciate this. Please enjoy this third (and final...?) chapter of _No Tears_, and please review when you're finished. Thanks. 

Jiyuu - Freedom

The last thing I remember is the pressure of your head on my chest and you calling my name. After that, everything's black. Before that, beautiful memories... 

The faded face of a woman crying - my mother, the last time I ever saw her. The old stargazer and his prophecy. The first time I ever met you, and my decision that you would be the one I would die for. Every exchange we ever made - my copious compliments, your cold shoulder, the battles, the smiles, the gasps, the surprises... all of them remembered, adored. My memories, sweet treasures of the one I have loved, the one I will love forever. And you said you loved me too, you said as I was... 

As I had laid dying, as the Earth was dying around me. What... now? Where are you? Are you safe? Panic sweeps over me, and I soon become aware of my body and the odd sensation of the air around me as my hair whips wildly about. 

I open my eyes, and it's as if I'm plunging through the clouds - my vision is white, hazy, and I feel like I'm falling, although I do not know where I've fallen from or where I'm falling to. It is a swift descent, yet there doesn't seem to be any reason for alarm. Nothing bad can happen to me now, in this place. I don't know how I know this, there is just this sensation in the air around me. 

Before long, the hazy white emptiness thins and exposes a wide expanse of emerald grass below me. A never-ceasing field that expands in all directions. A gust of sweet-scented wind propels me forward as I fall, towards a small white object, the only anomaly in the endless green field. 

As I approach the object, a pair of magnificent white wings stretch out behind me, slowing my descent so that I settle carefully onto the ground. They are a surprise to me - I had not noticed them before, yet they seem to have sprouted from my back as if commonplace. The grass is cool, soft, and I realize now that I am barefoot - indeed, it's not just my feet that are bare. As I contemplate the disappearance of my clothing, the object - in actuality much larger than I had originally thought - before me shifts, and my eyes widen as I discover what the object is. 

The 'object' is a person - the white that I had seen from above was another set of wings like the ones I had somehow acquired, and they are attached to the only person I have thought myself unequal to - 

O goddess, Arashi, sleeping peacefully, cloaked only by the feathers of your own angelic wings. 

The old stargazer taught me - and taught me well - to treat all others as my friends, my equals. But you - you were always so far above me, in my mind. You are Beauty, you are Strength, you are Temperance, you are everything - you kept me in balance, and it was no wonder that I mortally fell in love with you. 

It may have seemed to you that I regarded my fate as a joke, that I only chose you to be the one on a whim, but... it's not true. No other woman made me feel how I feel towards you - from even the very beginning moment, I felt something about you that I could not resist. You were the Stoic, the counter of my being, a woman that made my soul sing, my spirit grin, and my heart beat wild and free. And now here you are before me, the weight of your hardships lifted, revealing your true beauty. Beautiful. I can't help but smile. 

My shadow is cast upon you by the warming sun, and the difference of lighting causes you to stir. You yawn and stretch and slowly open your eyes. You narrow your eyes in confusion when you look at me, but they quickly widen, and you spring up and rush to me. 

Cool drops hits my shoulder as you tightly hug me around the neck. I feel your soft cheek against mine as you whisper my name joyously. 

"Sorata-kun!" 

In an insulted tone, I reply, 

"I thought you promised you wouldn't cry..." 

You loosen your embrace to look at me. I just grin at you. 

You wipe away your tears of happiness, and with a sarcastic smile, say, 

"Sumimasen..." 

Your smile softens into one more genuine, and you rest your head on my bare chest. A deja vu shiver runs through me as I remember... 

Remember myself dying... hearing you say... 

"I love you..." 

I look at you a moment, wondering if you had actually spoken, or if it was only the memory of before. I hesitate for a moment and decide to kiss the top of your head, and I smile as you tighten your arms around me. 

"So, this is love..." I comment wistfully. 

"Hai... I suppose it is..." you respond. 

"...Standing naked in a field of grass..." I add wittingly. 

"Eh..." You push slightly away from me and look down, causing a deep blush to fill your cheeks. 

I laugh and with a finger I raise your chin so that you are looking into my eyes. I smile gently, and your blush fades slightly. 

"No need to worry, babe... we'll get to that -" 

Your blush instantly returns to a beet red color. 

"-When we're ready." 

In a quiet voice, you reply, 

"Hai." 

With that, our eyes close and we are drawn together. Our lips touch, and we remain that way. 

An eternity together. 

We are free. 


End file.
